Sunday 23 August 2009

Reality is an Illusion

I thought I knew you. But I guess it’s easier… to see what we want, than to look for the truth. You think you know me but you don’t; and that means you don’t know what I can do.

‘Good morning’, said she one bright morning. For once when I wake up, I’m not grumpy, but happy. Who isn’t on seeing their best friend right? Now my friend, let’s not get into names, is seriously the bestest friend ever. No one gets me like she does, I know you’re thinking about me- she’s 15, what’s to get? But honestly, life is tough for a teenager. You don’t know the stuff we have to go through. And through it all, my friend’s always been there. Right by my side, always supporting me, always on my side, us against the world, you get the gist.

I’m a little surprised Mum let her in; she’s not too fond of my ‘best friend’. Can you believe that? My own mother, not happy I have such a brilliant friend. Not too fond, is an understatement, she practically despises her. I may be sounding a little too harsh but it’s true. Actually, its not so much Mum not liking her that bothers me, its just, well, how do I say it? Whenever my friend is around it’s like my Mum doesn’t like me. I’m not being jealous, she honestly doesn’t like my friend, in fact she seems scared of her. She won’t even look at me. And she speaks to my friend in a weird way. I think my Mum’s a little messed up in the head. Sometimes, when we race home from school, my friend reaches home before I do, and when I am looking in the door, before either of them realizes I’m there, I sometime notice my friend and her - and it’s like she’s her mum and not mine. But my friend’s smarter, like today, she probably got into the house without Mum knowing she’s there. Didn’t I tell you she was awesome? She knows the deal with my mum, but she is still my friend. Some kids at school call us freaks. They just don’t understand. Sometimes, even I don’t understand.

Like, I don’t remember how or when I met my friend. It’s like she was always my friend, and when I met her, it was like two long lost friends getting back together. I don’t remember what my life was like before I met her. It’s just like she’s always around me, part of my family, part of me. She ends up calling my parents mom and dad too, and I’m only gladder for it coz I’m an only child and who doesn’t love to have a sister? I’ve never even seen her parents, let alone met them. But from what she talks about them, they’re just like mine. Do all parents go to the same school or something, before they become parents? Anyway, back to mom, I told you she’s been a little weird lately haven’t I? Not just her, the whole world seems crazy to me.

Like she secretly took us to see this mad man! She dint even tell us where we were going, and she dint mind that my friend was tagging along. But of course, she seemed scared of my friend and wouldn’t talk to me. That guy seemed normal at first, even nice. His place was part office, part kid-heaven, with all kinds of toys and stuff. But of course, it wasn’t really a kids-would-love-it kinda place. It was too… grown up. So he and mom spoke for a bit in a different room, and then he spoke to us. Spoke more to my friend rather. Asked her lots of questions, some weird, some stupid and whole lotta crap about me. I mean HELLO!!! I’m sitting right there, ask me directly why don’t you? He did speak to me sometimes, but again, like I dint exist. He’d ask me a question and then before I could even say anything he’d act like I’d said something, and move on to the next question, like he was entertaining sum imaginary baby! I just couldn’t wait to get out of there. He sent us out again, and he and mum spoke some more, and she came out with a small paper bag in her hand and looking a lot more relieved than she’s been lately. For the first time in a long time, she smiled at my friend –a sad smile, but like the smile she sometimes gave me when I got hurt as a kid, that said, it’s going to be fine, you’ll be fine.

Like I said, the world’s going crazy. And all that craziness has started to affect my friend. She’s begun to act more like the rest of them. My mom seems to like her more every day and increasingly ignores me. Not just my mom, every one else. Some other school kids have started acting friendly with my friend, again not noticing me. Initially, I once confronted my friend. Asked her where her loyalties lay, got really pissed off and for the first time ever, and I swear to God this shouldn’t happen to anyone, my friend appeared scared of me. This is the worst! The one person who was the best in the world, acting like every one else! She broke down. She said she wasn’t trying to do it, this was just happening to her. She just seemed to suddenly forget about me. But she swore she loved me, and that she’d always be my best friend. I dint entirely believe her, I thought she was hiding something from me, but in the name of our friendship, I let it pass for now.

I am happy to see her. But she seems really different today. She’d been getting distant for quite a while now. It’s been quite a few days since we’ve talked AT ALL. Sad right? She seems serious, and all grown up like. I almost want to throw a pillow at her and laugh and ask her to cut it out, but I don’t think she’s trying to be funny. My mind is reeling, blanking out as she speaks to me. She tells me, she’s been really sick lately for a long time now. But she’s getting better. I’m her sickness. (I really conked out for a bit after that). She says she’s been getting better lately, taking medicines the doctor gave her. (What doctor?) And finally, ‘You’re not real. You have to go. I have to be normal. I have to get better, let my parents and real friends be there for me. I can’t let you ruin my life anymore’. I seem to have lost any or all power of speech. Tears are running down my face, she can see it and she seems pained too. I tell her it’s her mom, she’s been doing all this crazy stuff to her, and she mustn’t listen to her. Again she speaks and I’m stunned. She's almost in tears, and she’s really close to shouting out loud now. ‘No, stop it. She’s not your mom, she’s my mom. Stop living my life like it was yours.’

She pulls me to a mirror, and what I see there leaves me frozen. ‘Look,’ she says, ‘you’re not real. You have to go. Please go. Please leave me alone’ and she goes off crying. And while I’m staring in the mirror, all confused, wondering why I can’t see myself, I see her reflection running to door and opening it, and there is mom, no, her mom running in hugging her, both of them in tears.

I’m lost, I don’t know what to do anymore. But I know one thing. Just because she forgot I was her friend, doesn’t mean I’ll forget. I’ll wait right here, biding my time, because I’m sure one day she’ll remember. One day she’ll look into a mirror, and I’ll be there right by her side, and she will be able to see me.

Author's note: Woohoo! Finally did it. My first entirely fictional piece. Too long a read, I realize, but I just got carried away! If you’ve read till here, then I thank you just for having read this. Would really appreciate feedback and comments on this thing. This has been a WIP for a long time, an idea forming in my head that finally (according to me) took decent shape.

I dint intend for the post to end where it actually did, but the end I had in mind seemed to both trivialize the entire plot and to make it spooky. But if you’re still interested, read on:

But that may be a long time away. Till then, maybe I need a new friend. Someone who will appreciate me. What about you? You seem real nice. Will you be my friend? Look into the mirror. It’s not just you that you can see right? Look closer, I’m there, right beside you. Can you see me?

Saturday 8 August 2009

My favorite pictures

As you would have noticed, I've added a new feature to my blog. You should be able to see a slideshow of my favorite pictures right on my blog without having to go to my web-album. If however you do go over to the album, do put in your comments and 'like' your favorite pictures from the lot. I do intend to keep updating the album.

the link if you still need it is:

http://picasaweb.google.com/anupama.naik/RandomFavorites?feat=directlink

Wednesday 5 August 2009

If wishes were horses

I don’t know if you’ve read it (I haven’t :-p ), but there is a book called ‘the seven habits of highly effective people’. Now you get why I haven’t yet read it, and quite frankly don’t intend to read it in the near future. Anyhoo, we had a “training” session in the office the other day that was supposedly related to the book. (Excuse the ambiguity, but like I said, I haven’t read the book) and while like all eight-freaking-hour-long sessions are, it did get a bit boring, but it did hit a few sore points. Well the session was about work-life balance and the moral of the story was that if your life is a routine of work-eat-sleep for the majority of your time, your life is monotonous, it sucks, you could go into depression and die... or something along those lines. Honestly, if you want to really know about it, attend such a session yourself and/or read the book.

So it got me thinking, what can I change in my life to make it interesting, exciting, meaningful and certain other adjectives that make life look cooler, what would I do? The answer came right back... not much, nah, I’m good.

However, there comes in the power of imagination, if you don’t know Calvin, you probably don’t understand this power, and I can’t help you. But if you do, read on. Now in my imagination I do not have a shortage of any sort of resources, I live in an ideal world; the world is my oyster, the only restrictions I face are ones I decide I want. And once I got to this world, the options just never stopped. While there were many, many crazy ideas I had, a few really stood out. In random order as they come to me now –

  1. Get a vehicle that is road trip ideal- I’m imagining a Tata Xenon, but something more along the lines of a Ford Endeavour would be better. Now this vehicle as mentioned before would be my ideal (and I would prefer only) companion on weekend trips that I intend to take at least 3 times a month. The idea of ‘discovering’ India has always appealed to me, and with weekend trips I can at least discover my state if not the country. I do at some point in life intend to take time off, if not quit my job, and do go roaming for longer than just a weekend
  2. Get a really good camera, think the Nikon D300, which would help me keep memories of these trips. I think nature offers the best ‘models’ for shooting pictures. Honestly what is more brilliant that a sunset at a beach?
  3. Be my own band, which involves learning to sing, play the guitar and drums. I’m not too crazy about keyboards. Nothing is as therapeutic as music, and it isn’t always enough to just listen to it.
  4. Seriously consider an alternative career option. For as far as I can remember I’ve either wanted to be a teacher or to write. I think I would suck at teaching, noble as the job is, but I don’t think I suck at writing, and even if I do, I wouldn’t be ruining someone else’s life doing it. Writing does not mean an author, more like a journalist but without it being a ‘job’.
  5. Work with an adoption agency and help build more families. What’s better than actually getting to pick your child/parents? And sponsor at least a few kids' education because it is what is most important to a child’s development.

A few things on a lighter mode:

  1. Go crazy with adventure sports- bungee jumping, sky diving, rafting, rappelling, you name it, and I’ll do it.
  2. Get soooooo sloshed I don’t know anything at all.
  3. Go tell some people what I really think of them (I know you think I already do that, but you don’t know what I’m hiding and it could be about you.. HA HA HA)
  4. Go public about my superpowers- as in public public.
  5. If I have to ever get married, elope and be on the run always.
  6. Believe in ‘forever’.

And finaly, just for kicks, and I don’t know if its serious or not, jump off a high-rise J

What a way to go, huh?