The past week proved it!
Things that changed: For the first time, in over ten years, I had noodles, not any grandiosely cooked noodles either, the instant, put it into water, ready in two minutes kind. The ten years bit isn’t an exaggeration. I’ve always hated noodles for as long as I remember. But for some reason, this one day in office, when my stomach was grumbling for food, the noodles, slimy yellow little things, looked tempting to me. I had a spoon, liked it, had some more, din’t hate it, had some more. An hour or so later, I realized that I probably shouldn’t have given my stomach so much of something new to adjust to, but hey, I’m not hating it again – yet!
Things that remained the same: One of my friends, I’ll spare you my classification of friends and this person’s category in it, was leaving town, probably forever, maybe never to return. I’d known this for a while now, but I hadn’t really thought about it. Correction, didn’t let myself think about it. Besides, we’d drifted apart, weren’t that close anymore, you get it. But he’d been there for me when I needed a friend, and that accounts to deserving at least a goodbye, no matter what category of friend. But true to me, and (as a few of my family and friends put it) due to my utter lack of any normal emotions, I couldn’t do it. Never have been able to. I think a goodbye is the only reason I’d pick up the phone and call someone, only so I wouldn’t have to do it in person. The call would be short too, well within my 18sec call limit. Just a ‘Hey man, wish you the best for your future, do great things, make me proud’ kind of superficial talk that I associate with unwanted emotion. So, even after years of practice, even after making conscious changes in myself to at least pretend to be more social than I am, more tolerant, more normal(read: having normal emotions), I still can’t say a good bye. And I know, that even if I may regret it, if could turn back time, I still wouldn’t be able to say Good bye.
